25 things about you!

1. You have more body hair than I do… Fix that now…

2. Your sex drive is lower than mine… It could be all that weed you smoke…

3. You have an inferiority complex around me… That’s only natural…

4. Your weather is suckier than mine… There’s nothing you can do about it…

5. You love me… Can’t blame you…

6. Your naughty bits tingle when you imagine me naked… Go ahead, touch yourself…

7. You scored lower on the SAT than I did… Don’t beat yourself up over it…

8. Your mom Emails me naked pictures of herself… Sorry…

9. You have more sexual inhibitions than I do… We can work on that…

10. Your sister flashed me at Mardi Gras… She has great tits…

11. YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

12. Your body is softer than mine… But I like that…

13. You are prettier than me… But I get laid more…

14. Your porn collection is way smaller than mine… Jealous?

15. You probably have a bigger penis than I do… But I still get laid more…

16. Your stamina wanes… Just when mine is revving up…

17. You could take flirting lessons from me… They’re free…

18. Your underwear is more expensive than mine… I don’t wear any…

19. You have at least one more phobia than I do… I have none…

20. Your geekiness knows no boundaries… Nerd…

21. You have dated fewer strippers and gymnastics instructors than me… Nyah nyah…

22. Your daughter masturbates for me on her webcam at college… You thought she was studying…

23. You are less adventurous with what you eat than I am… Mmmmm, Tako Nigiri…

24. Your sperm count is lower than mine… Need proof?

25. You turn me on… That should scare you…